two years ago, on this date, i started youcanmerch.com. the first day it launched, i received so much support from friends, associates, and complete strangers. it was a rush. youcanmerch was supposed to be a creative platform for people to share their work and their thoughts. but that’s not what it became.i was looking for writing jobs and i thought the site would help. i added short films i’d worked on, photos i’d taken, and a media page if employers thought the resume was cap. if the site’s main function is to showcase my work, i should’ve started kelvinhicks.com instead. maybe starting a website on a whim is a terrible idea but two years later, we still here.

youcanmerch site kept me sane. i could come here and vent. at times i’m a romantic, hopeful that pure love exists. other times i’m on some sad boy vibes and occasionally i bring some good news. this is a space for me to be myself, but sometimes i get cold feet. everything on the page sounds fine until publishing time. i’ve shared some pretty personal shit on here too. i’ve talked about real people and real situations. honesty is important to me but being respectful to people is paramount. i worry that i’m not expressing myself clearly enough. if a piece doesn’t hit, its an “el”. i failed as a writer. the next story is another opportunity to get it right.

you reading this right now means a lot to me. for allowing me a chance to get it right. i don’t know if you peeped but it’s a lot less cluttered around here. i got rid of some things, made more space for us. less me, and more of you. why build a world if you can’t share it? why open my heart and not invite you in? everyday is more unsure than the last so let’s be our truest selves. judgment isn’t allowed here, but we must continue to grow. if i’m wrong, correct me. if i’m falling short, hold me accountable. i’ll do the same for you, if you want. its been a privilege to share this space with you.

over the last couple years i haven’t been committed to anything but this site. i had a job for a minute but you know what happened with that. my love life is on pause at the moment so little to no commitment there. i was on my lonely boy shit at one point. it was times i was looking at myself in the mirror like, “boa you ugly. and your writing shit not hot.” ngl i was pressed. now i’m double taking like “that new skincare routine got you right, my boi. and the hair? moisturized. okay okay okay.” gotta big yourself up. this world can be cruel, so no need to pile on.

if there was a dream scenario for the site this year, it would be that i received so many submissions that i’d post at least one a week. i’d post multiple stories of my own a week and send out monthly emails. the monthly email part the is the most fantastical part of that hypothetical. sheesh. anyway, i hope to see you soon. if you have any favorite stories, comment them below. look around, read something that you haven’t read before. if you find a typo, my bad. i fired my editor.